A little stream of consciousness is about to ensue so get ready…this blog post has a different tone than usual, but it’s still a post about how I deal with stress and how my OCD, anxiety, and depression can be calmed or aggravated.
(DEEP breath and pause…..)
Lately, I’ve been using deadheading my petunias as a stress management technique. It helps me zone out on searching for the spent buds in a mass of colorful blooms, pinch or snip them, and then toss them into the empty flower-pot I use as a trash bucket.
It’s helpful for times when I find myself becoming obsessive about things. Running past conversations in my head over and over, checking things multiple times (my email account, Facebook pages, etc.) Sometimes my obsessive thought is something like, “Did I turn the water off outside after watering?” and then some days I’m so absorbed in my anxiety that I actually forget to turn the water off and it runs for about 5 hours (shaking my head at myself).
Deadheading helps me calm my inner voice and slow down my thoughts as I physically focus on one thing instead of the storm of thoughts that are swirling around inside my head.
By definition, deadheading is “to remove dead flower heads from (a plant) to encourage further blooming.”
For the last year, I have removed or “deadheaded” a stressful relationship from my life by putting necessary (healthy) boundaries in place with this person. It was hard at first as I felt guilty often for not returning emails (that were obviously manipulative and did not show any remorse for the things that lead to this “deadheading.”) Today is that person’s birthday. I can pray for her and send her good vibes, but do I send the sweetly worded card I’ve always sent and be the supportive person I’ve always tried to be (even though it didn’t do me a bit of good long-term)?
No. Despite my best efforts to have a healthy relationship with her my entire life, I still ended up being manipulated by her destructive behavior over and over again…so…no more. I’m not playing anymore. I’m off the merry-go-round and there is nothing that can be said or done to entice me to get back on it. I’m protecting myself once and for all.
Boundaries are empowering! (After you get over the initial guilt and people-pleasing habits) 💜🌷
heart gardening 